Unlocking the Power of Calm: A Game Changer To Help Us Eat and Feel Better

"The pressure to lose weight can be overwhelming, but my own struggles have taught me that it's not about counting calories — it's about finding balance in both body and mind."

By Amy Salman

We all know that stress is a normal part of life, but when we become chronically stressed, it can lead to emotional eating, increased cravings and hormonal imbalances. And that stuff can lead to worse stuff. I learned this the hard way, and it all started back when I was just a kid.       

I wasn’t aware of it at the time, but I had an early addiction to sugar. I went on countless diets, counted calories and exercised excessively. But none of that changed my relationship with sugar. I simply was not connecting my emotions, actions and behaviors. I was on autopilot. And clueless about it.   

The turning point came when I finally was convinced to speak to a therapist, 20 years after my mom died. I had never talked about her death. She was the most important person in my life and our family just didn’t talk about it after she passed. It was through therapy that I first learned about and identified my sugar addiction. But knowing it and changing the behavior were two different things.  

After my diagnosis with Hashimoto’s Disease over 10 years ago, I took a trip to California and noticed something. I was hiking daily, reading my book in the morning sunshine while sipping on tea, and preparing home cooked meals. There was a complete shift in my body. I felt peaceful and calm. I didn’t have any urges for sugar and the constipation I was suffering from dissipated.  

But when I returned home to New York, the stress of my job crept back in, and once again I found myself reaching for sugar. At that moment, I was able to connect my emotions, actions, and behavior. I understood and was now listening to my body. 

Do you ever notice the things that put your mind at ease and put your body in a peaceful state? Recently, while traveling, I spent the last few days of my trip on the beach and immediately felt its impact on my body. A deep sense of calm and peace took over and food was merely an afterthought. 

Since most of us don’t live our lives at the beach or mountains, the key is to cultivate that same inner peace we experience in those moments through daily self-care at home. Too often, self-care gets pushed aside, but making it a priority is essential. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

While a healthy diet and exercise are essential for weight loss, your mental and emotional well-being play just as crucial a role. 

It’s easy to overlook all of the things that contribute to our sense of nourishment and fulfillment. It’s not just the food we eat, but all of the other factors present in our daily lives. When we are balanced, what we eat becomes secondary. I was mourning the loss of my mom, but many of the joyful activities I used to do with her that were instrumental in my life — ballet, playing guitar, writing poetry — seemed to die along with her. I was mourning these missing pieces of my life, but without being able to outwardly express what I was feeling. It created a void inside me — and I would reflexively seek out food to fill that void.

Listening to your body can help you recognize how stress impacts your weight. Eating isn’t just about nourishment — it also provides emotional comfort, as it did for me while working out blocked emotions. 

Amy Salman, calm among the waterfalls in Thailand. Her practice, The Wellness Map, is about teaching ways to find that peace no matter where you are.

Stress can drive cravings for foods that are high in sugar, fat, and salt. Those things trigger a release of dopamine in the brain — and short-term good feeling. Comfort foods can also be tied to childhood memories, evoking feelings of warmth and safety. Oftentimes, eating becomes a distraction from the deeper issues, rather than a solution.

If your weight loss struggles are connected to stress, uncovering the root cause requires self compassion, honesty and self-exploration. This process isn’t always easy — our eating habits may be tied to painful memories. However, once you identify why you turn to food, you can begin to develop healthier coping mechanisms. A diet won’t heal childhood trauma, a toxic relationship, or workplace stress — but understanding your behaviors will allow you to replace those that no longer serve you. A few strategies to keep in mind:

1. Build awareness around stress: Practice stress management techniques like deep breathing, yoga, or meditation to manage stress without food. Engage in physical activity which releases endorphins and reduces stress. Even a short walk can help. Prioritize self-care activities that help you unwind like reading, journaling, or taking a bath.

2. Identify triggers: Keep a food journal. Track what you eat and how you feel when you eat it. Recognizing patterns can help you pinpoint specific triggers like stress, boredom, or fatigue. HALT- Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. Pause and ask yourself, “Am I hungry, or am I trying to soothe an emotion?”

3. Replace the habit: Swap unhealthy snacks for healthier alternatives. Opt for veggies, nuts, or fruit instead of chips or candy. Drink water or tea first. Thirst is often mistaken for hunger, and having a calming drink can also give you a moment to reset. Keep low-calorie snacks handy to help keep your mouth busy without reaching for unhealthy options.

4. Let it out: Please talk about your feelings. Don’t hold it in. Share your feelings with a trusted friend, partner, or professional rather than turning to food. And, practice self-compassion. Don’t beat yourself up for giving in occasionally. The goal is progress, not perfection.

In our culture, weight loss can become a hard pressure. But what I’ve learned from my own battles is that it’s not just about tracking the calories that go in and out — it’s about achieving a level of balance in both body and mind. By managing stress and prioritizing inner peace, you set yourself up for long-term success.

AMY SALMAN is a Holistic Nutritionist, Wellness & Recovery Coach and Founder of The Wellness Map. She is also a coach and board advisor for the Lean In mentoring program.

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