When I Wired a Win On Finding the Afikoman

"Thinking back upon that childhood Passover experience reminded me of one of the most persistent and harmful stereotypes against Jews that has harrowed our people for centuries."

By Michael Golden

During the Passover holiday one year when I was a little kid, I pulled a fast one.

It’s a tradition on Passover for all of the children to search for the hidden piece of matzah after the Seder dinner. “Afikoman” is Hebrew for dessert, and the meal is officially done once one of the young ones finds the prize. The winner is usually given a small cash prize (though many families just break it up and let all the kids in on the action).

I was probably about eight or nine years old when instead of the massive Seder dinner we usually attended at my uncle’s house on my Mom’s side, we drove downtown for a smaller holiday at my Dad’s parents. This also meant that there were far fewer cousins on hand.

That night, before dinner even began, I started looking for the afikoman. It seemed logical to me that it would be a lot easier for the adults to do this earlier — get it out of the way before the kids were all hopped up and ready to go after the loooong Seder service.

I found the wrapped matzah before we ever even sat down to eat. And then once the hunt began later, I milled around for a bit before casually closing in on the hidden treasure. Sandbagged it. I got the reward ($20 I think?) and then the night continued.

Now one might think that I was hot for the cash prize. I mean, what kid doesn’t want a few bucks to go buy candy (in that era, it was “Bubblicious”). But it wasn’t the dollars that motivated my shady behavior, it was the winning. Ironically, I wrote just a week ago on The Golden Mean about fighting the tendency to attach too much value to competition and outcomes.

The reason I write about it today is that I was thinking about it recently (Passover is a week away) — and about how the prize part of the story could be easy fodder for the jokes that folks still tell about Jews and money. If you’re Jewish, you already know how truly moronic this stereotype or parsimony is. The most obvious reasons are familiar to us all:

In the Middle Ages (and plenty of other eras), Jews were forbidden to practice myriad professions, and, alternatively, were even recruited to be bankers or lenders. The rest of that script writes itself.

In America, we are encouraged from a very young age to work hard in order to achieve our dreams and earn the life we want to live. In business, profit is the motive. Commercial success is based on profit, and there’s not a single successful business person in America who does not keep the bottom line in mind when making decisions. Yet Jews are still criticized for doing this well.

We are also taught, both in this country today and as far back as the words in the Torah — to give back to our communities. For generations, Jews have been doing this at extraordinarily high levels.

That’s the short list.

In my own life experience, which includes living in seven different states, Jews are some of the most generous and charitable people I’ve ever met. My parents, both Jewish, are “shirt off their back” types. They argue with other family and friends about picking up the check. No one wants to let anyone else pay!

Last week, I took a childhood friend to play golf, and I was more tired from saying “no” to his offers to pay than from shooting my awful score. The guest fee, the beverage cart — even the cash we won in the tournament. He wouldn’t stop! Good Jew.

To be clear, I’ve got plenty of close non-Jewish friends in my life who are just as generous. Friends are one thing I’ve got pretty good taste in, and if someone is offensively thrifty, they don’t make the inner circle.

So when I hear a joke about Jews and money — and it’s made by someone whom I’m not all that chummy with yet — I’m sensitive to it. They may not mean any harm by it, but they usually don’t know the history behind it. And as someone who can be quite reactive, well, sometimes I overreact.

But it’s only out of pride for a people who have survived centuries of consistent efforts to drive us out of the world — and somehow continued to effusively give to that same world.

“If your brother becomes impoverished and his means falter in your proximity, you shall strengthen him.” (Leviticus 25:35)

And it’s also because it’s a negative stereotype that’s too stupid for words.

So let us teach our kids to split up the afikoman prize before the adults have to make the decision…

…and to not rig the search before dinner.

Chag Pesach Sameach. Happy Passover.

MICHAEL GOLDEN is the Editor-In-Chief of JEWDICIOUS and founder of The Golden Mean.

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