"The Other Four Questions" – A New Tradition
"The children were all honest; some said it wasn’t that important to them. But everyone agreed that someone ends up being the glue in the family who cares – and holds the tradition together for all."
Kudos to my baby sister for actively engaging the entire Passover table into a meaningful conversation about our cherished Jewish holiday. It is certainly challenging to capture the audience of the next generations, and this exercise knocked it out of the park. It was a Seder that was described as heavy, yet I have no doubt that it was meaningful and memorable to us all.
The night started with my brother-in-law, Bryan, who followed in my father’s footsteps by researching a bit of fun trivia about the history of the Jewish people and tie in some actual current events to the seder.
I was impressed. Bryan began with a question for the whole group: How many Jews did we all think are in the world today? The guessing began. My older sister, who has been a preschool teacher for 30+ years at the JCC, had the closest guess: 15 million. The actual answer is 15.7 million, with 7.2 million residing in the State of Israel and 6.3 million in America.
Where did we all believe the majority lived? Bryan shared the actual statistics of each US city and which state has the least amount of Jewish people. Of course, New York and California have the largest populations in America, while South Dakota has the least. With so many young adults around the table, everyone was actively engaging and genuinely interested. Bryan had everyone’s attention, and the Seder began. We did our usual 30-minute service reading of the Haggadah.
My favorite part, which I think just became a new tradition in our family, was “The Other Four Questions.” A few pieces of paper were scattered across our table with the following questions printed for everyone to consider:
In your words, what is Passover?
Describe what being Jewish means to you in one word?
What is your favorite thing about the Seder?
Think for a moment about the future of the Jewish People, do you think generations from now, Jewish families will be sitting at a Passover Seder as we are? Why or why not?
All 17 of us went around the room answering each question. The answers and conversations to follow brought meaning, curiosity, wisdom, and enlightenment from each person.
Passover had a variety of meanings to us all: freedom from feeling mentally stuck, a time for traditions with family, a time to eat, drink, and be merry, a time to be together, and celebrating our people’s exodus from bondage in Egypt. So many different answers were shared and pondered.
I also loved the one-word answers describing what it means to be Jewish: strong, proud, faith, emunah, morals and values, and religion and Moses.
Favorite things about the Seder: food, the preparation and planning, the conversations around the table, traditions, time spent with family and friends, and searching for the afikomen.
The last question began a longer discussion and added more insight and meaning to how traditions continue and why we continue to be such a strong tribe while only comprising 0.2% of the world’s population. Do we think in years to come, Jewish families will be sitting around a Passover Seder table like we are tonight?
The verdict at our table was a solid yes, even though some were skeptical – while at the same time hopeful. The idea of Jewish guilt helped a little, but the main consensus was that traditions instilled in all of us from our youth, and being shown by example in real time sharing of a meal add lasting meaning. The children were all honest, and some said it wasn’t important to them. It was agreed upon that someone ends up being the glue in the family who cares and brings importance to the collective group.
The fact that we lit candles in honor of the 133 hostages still being held in captivity in today's climate of antisemitism was our louder message of FREEDOM for all Jews this year!
A traditional song over Passover is called ”Dayenu.” It is Jews’ way of saying that what God has given us is enough. I’m beyond fortunate to be celebrating this year with all my loving family in Arizona, always blessed with “enough.”
Wishing all who celebrate a Happy Pesach.
LAURIE SHELTON is a veteran adoption specialist and an avid international travel writer who has corresponded from more than 30 countries.
