Family: The Key to Jewish Continuity
“I realize the teaching of ‘lead by example’ is how my sisters and I have turned out to have similar feelings, beliefs, and a sense of what being a Jewish woman means in our lives.“
By Laurie Shelton
Having grown up the middle daughter of three in a conservative Jewish home, I was raised with tradition and values that taught me the meaning of being Jewish. We all attended Hebrew school, were bat mitzvahed, and now my sisters and their Jewish husbands are passing these traditions on to their children. Today, I am the proud aunt to six incredibly bright and independent nieces, aged 12-26.
The meaning of being Jewish develops differently for all of us. Whether felt as a spiritual connection, a form of organized religion, and ethnicity, or something we may be forced to partake in as a child - there’s no telling how much it will mean to each of us as we grow as individuals. But I’ve learned just how important it is.
A few years ago, I read a book about how our Jewish race is slowly going to disappear if succeeding generations don’t find meaning in being Jewish. This perplexed me greatly and provoked deep conversations with my older nieces.
God Is in the Crowd is an “original and provocative blueprint for Judaism in the twenty-first century. Presented through the lens of Tal Keinan’s unusual personal story, it’s a sobering analysis of the threat to Jewish continuity. As the Jewish people have become mostly concentrated into just two hubs – America and Israel – we have lost some of the subtle code of governance that endowed Judaism with dynamism and relevance in the age of Diaspora. This code, as Keinan explains, is derived from Francis Galton’s ‘wisdom of crowds,’ in which a group’s collective intelligence, memory, and even spirituality can be dramatically different from, and often stronger than that of any individual members. He argues that without this code, this ancient people – and the civilization it spawned – will soon be extinct.”
I highly recommend God in the Crowd, not only because of its message but also because Keinan’s life story is truly fascinating. His volume may be particularly suited to book clubs, as the conversations likely to flow from them may very well strengthen the Jewish People and grow the importance of our faith.
Keinan’s book has also stuck with me on a personal level. As a childless woman in today’s society, I was curious to know how my six nieces feel about their faith and heritage that their parents tried to instill in them.
I know that for me, my Jewish faith became more important during my early 30’s when I found a personal connection to it. I stumbled upon an incredible rabbi, who spoke to me on my level. I began attending his wisdom teachings every Monday night by candlelight, accompanied by music and a story he shared that reflected that week's torah portion and how it related to a topic in today’s current events. I was hooked, and continued to follow that rabbi for years, which led to my first trip to Israel in 2014. I have since submerged myself in Chabad gatherings throughout my international travels and continued to strengthen my religious connections.
Being Jewish is the invisible thread – or better yet, common denominator – that ties us all together. A feeling of shared history which has bred an extended family where we all support each other, no matter where we go. I realize the teaching of “to lead by example” is how all of my sisters and I have turned out to have similar feelings, beliefs, and a sense of what being a Jewish woman has meant to our lives. Our parents showed us what was shared with them and the continuation trickles down…
The curiosity I felt when reading this book provoked a spark within me to grasp the generational differences in a modern Jewish family in 2023. So I texted the women in my family the same two questions:
What does being Jewish mean to you? How does being Jewish affect you?
Their answers are included here, lightly edited for brevity:
Rachel, age 26: “Being Jewish means traditions, family and friends with shared morals & values. Sleep away camp, Israel trip, Hebrew school, and signing a ketubah at a wedding. But I feel scared to wear a Jewish star or anything showcasing being Jewish today.”
Terri, age 52: “I am a loud and proud Jew. Especially now, I do not hide my Jewishness. Being Jewish defines who I am completely, lighting a shabbat candle every Friday night to welcome in light and love. The majority of my close friendships are with Jewish women. We were raised similarly, to always put family first and to fight for our faith and support one another. Our shared knowledge and experiences form a common bond that connects us all. The symbolism of the Jewish holidays that we all learned about in our youth, and how the Jewish people have always had to fight for what we believe in, we always come out on top. It makes us stronger, wiser people. We all possess a strength and certain bravery because we had to try harder. We will persevere and overcome antisemitism.”
Audrey, age 76: “Traditions and learning all of our family recipes, our background, and doing mitzvahs for people make me feel good. Seeking help from a rabbi when needed during difficult times, simchas of weddings, and bar/bat mitzvah teachings. Knowing that I am part of a minority group makes me feel like I need to help and be more understanding of others in similar groups. Knowing that we as Jewish people continue to fight for our land and the lives of those lost in the Holocaust.”
Sophie, age 23: “Being Jewish has always affected me in a good way. It’s something unique, something I can teach my non-Jewish friends about. I am proud to be Jewish, but being Jewish has also felt scary these last 2 months. I am less likely to show that I am Jewish or talk about it due to fear. It also means a close knit community! I feel like we all understand each other on some level, which is special.”
Jackie, age 47: “Being Jewish to me means family, traditions, holidays, and prayers to Israel. Jewish geography, JCC, the instant bond with other Jews, Tikkun Olam & Tzedakah. Shabbat, being proud, torah, challah, and Hebrew school.”
Whitney, age 12: “Being Jewish is fun. I like all the traditions and fun activities.”
Receiving these responses made me so proud to be a part of this family. We lost our beloved father several years ago, but I know that he would be kvelling over all of us. Our Dad would be incredibly gratified by the fact that the traditions and meaningful stories that he and my Mom passed down to us have sealed our family’s faith. At least for the next couple of generations.
Laurie Shelton is a Veteran Adoption Specialist and an avid international Travel Writer who has corresponded from more than 30 countries.
