America's Only Undefeated Team
"My two best friends taught me how to play the game of basketball, but more importantly, the game of life. In their memory, I will do my best every single day to win in the ways that matter most."
By Ross Kagan Marks
What is friendship? What defines it? What makes a good friend? I think anyone will tell you that having good friends — people who care about you, are there for you, who lift you up and celebrate you — is one of the most important things in life.
My oldest and dearest friend, Josh “Wex” Wexler, died recently at the tender age of 57. He was preceded in death eight years earlier by my other oldest and dearest friend, David “Fetch” Fleisher, who was only 49 when he passed.
Growing up, I was closer with these two guys than my own brothers. From sixth grade through most of college we spoke every day. Multiple times a day. I leaned on them. They leaned on me. We were always there for one another. I will never forget our great conversations, crazy hijinks, and incredible adventures. I will always take them and their memories with me.
Our undefeated three-on-three team has only one player now. But seriously, we NEVER lost a three-on-three basketball game. And we played some killer teams. Especially when we would travel from the Chicago suburbs to the city. We never lost not because we were the most talented, but because we had chemistry. Best friend chemistry. Blood brother chemistry. We played our hearts out for each other. We dove for loose balls on concrete — I still have the scars. We took charges. Made great passes. Epic shots.
America’s only undefeated team. 128-0. Un! De! Feated!
Somewhere along the trail of life, we lost touch a bit. We married, moved around, had kids, jobs, and traveled our respective paths. But their presence and their friendship never left me… until they physically left this earth.
I am now left with memories. As kids, the three of us were thicker than thieves. We did everything together. Went on dates together. Lost our virginity together. Buying condoms from the Highland Park Walgreens was particularly challenging and amusing. They both leave behind great legacies, their families, and a host of other great friends. An inheritance is what you leave for somebody. A legacy is what you leave in somebody. They left me a lot. They both made me a very rich man when they died.
Basketball was our world. Wex introduced us to the game in sixth grade. He and Fetch (so named because he had a penchant for kvetching and complaining about everything) and I were supposed to hang out at Fetch’s house after school. His house was our main hangout because he had an array of pinball and video games in his basement. This was well before Dave ‘N Busters or Chuck E. Cheese. Fetch’s dad was a successful lawyer who had a client who paid him in video games, or so we were told. We would go to Fetch’s house to play Pacman, Space Invaders and Galaga for hours. I had the high score on Galaga, Fetch was the Pacman champ, and Josh owned Space Invaders. We excelled at different games so we could each play them at the same time without waiting a turn, and we’d yell out our latest score or conquest.
But on this particular day in the early fall of sixth grade, we could not go to Fetch’s house to play video games. Wex informed us he was trying out for the seventh grade Edgewood Cager basketball team. I was bummed. I wanted to break my Galaga high score. Wex told Fetch and I that we should join him. Sixth graders making the seventh grade team? Not likely. And certainly not the two of us. But as friends do, we accompanied our pal to the tryout for emotional support. I wasn’t even prepared to play basketball that day; I was wearing jeans and loafers. And that was the first time I actually played basketball. Serious, intense hoops. I loved it. And it would eventually love me back.
Needless to say, Fetch and I didn’t make the team that day. Wex did. He was a great basketball player even back then. A prodigy, really. He would go on to play for two USA Maccabee teams, become an All-State player in high school and then become a star at Cornell University. Fetch and I were in the stands when Wex’s Cornell squad played Arizona in the first round of the NCAA tournament. Our friend guarded Steve Kerr – tough assignment. Cornell lost. Wex probably needed us, his undefeated three-on-three teammates!
The game of basketball would bond us and keep us together as we eventually played for Edgewood Junior High, BBYO, and Highland Park High School. Wex was our leader and assist-man both on and off the court. I was the shooter (though Fetch repeatedly told me I shot way too much). Fetch was the Jewish Dennis Rodman, always grabbing rebounds. That was why we never lost a three-on-three game and why we almost went to the sweet sixteen our senior year in high school. Our sense of teamwork and intense camaraderie never left us, until it did in the form of death.
What to do now, without my teammates? I can’t rebound and pass on my own. Truth is, I haven’t played basketball in 20 years. I’m a golfer now. All I need are my clubs and my new electric pull cart — greatest purchase ever!
But I will become a passer — an assist man — in Wex’s memory. I will share with others, lift them up and express optimism, as he taught me. I will try to always smile and say something positive. I will focus on giving. That was what Wex passed on to me.
I will also do the hard work. I will get dirty and put myself in uncomfortable situations. I won’t take a single day for granted or be afraid to fail. Fetch couldn’t really jump very well, but he could out-rebound players nearly a foot taller because he had heart and guts. I will use my heart and guts — to fight for the things that I believe in.
My two best friends taught me how to play the game of basketball, but more importantly, the game of life. I will do my best every day to win in the ways that matter. Win for Wex. Win for Fetch. I can’t be the reason we lose our first game when it’s never happened before.
We are America’s only undefeated team.
In memory of: Josh "Wex" Wexler 1966-2024 and David "Fetch" Fleisher 1967-2016
Ross Marks is a writer, producer and director who teaches film at New Mexico State University. He is the founder of the Las Cruces Int’l Film Festival.
From unpacking history and politics to navigating the nuances of family and personal relationships to finding the human angle on sports and entertainment — plus our unsparing take on what’s happening in the Jewish world — the canvas at JEWDICIOUS is limitless! JOIN US!!