A Beautiful Shabbat - Learned Through Chabad
"As it turned out, Sima lived minutes away from where my grandparents are buried, which was the reason I was in her town. I was thrilled to be invited to stay and break bread with these new friends."
By Laurie Shelton
Having grown up in a Conservative Jewish home, I was bat-mitzvahed, have a Hebrew name and I’ve occasionally attended Shabbat dinners. I’ve always enjoyed lighting candles after sundown on Fridays, but never have I truly experienced “Keeping Shabbat.”
There are different levels of observance in Judaism. One is the way of Chabad, which is a branch of Orthodox Judaism. What I have always LOVED about the Chabad movement and organization is its acceptance and non-judgmental way of sharing its philosophy and customs with all who want to engage.
While traveling this summer, I had the good fortune to have two Shabbat meals at the Chabad House in Portland, Maine. On one of the occasions, I bonded with another fellow traveler, Sima from Spring Valley, New York. She was there with her family, four children and her extremely talented, musically inclined husband. They were staying over to observe the 24-hour Shabbat occasion, as he was invited to perform a concert on the Sunday. These beautiful Shabbat dinners go until midnight, with 25 people sharing compelling and meaningful conversations over a special holy meal.
Well, Sima and I hit it off, so much so that she sent an email after Shabbat ended, inviting me to share a true Shabbas in her home in Spring Valley. Side note: she asked the night we met if she could call me by my Hebrew name, Leah. Of course, I was delighted.
As it turns out, Sima lives minutes from where my grandparents are buried, which was the reason I was heading to her town. I was thrilled to be invited to stay 24 hours with total strangers and to break bread intimately in their home.
I arrived at 6 p.m. on Friday night, so we had a little bit of time before the sun went down. I knew most of the rules, but learned so many more during my time with this family — and it’s provided me with an entirely new meaning of Shabbat. Not only was I ready to put my phone away for the customary 24 hours, I was totally looking forward to unplugging completely. Though I did ask if I could take a few photos before we began.
We could not turn electricity on and off during Shabbat, so when Sima showed me the room I’d be sleeping in, she explained that the light in the bathroom would be left on so I could swing my door to allow light in. Custom also does not allow for the tearing of paper, so we used individual tissues in the bathroom. Also, prior to visiting, I borrowed two long sleeve dresses from my cousin to be respectful in their home (appropriate dress requires that women’s collarbones be covered).
At 7:50 p.m. it was time for the ladies to light the candles. Sima and her daughters were so welcoming and kind to teach me all the correct ways of participating and sharing the meaning of each step in the service. After enjoying the traditional meal, with everyone reciting prayers together, it was bedtime.
One of the best parts of my visit was waking up in the morning, while the rest of the house was still asleep. I browsed and read from so many Jewish books that lined the shelves of their family room. Then we all sat comfortably around the breakfast table, as the boys walked to shul. Sima, myself and the girls engaged in a fascinating conversation about the educational options for schools in the area, why we do certain things during Shabbat, the uniforms they wear to school, and simple bonding about being Jewish in today’s society.
Once the boys returned, it was time for another meal…I shared my personal photo albums with Sima’s family which motivated them to share their travel albums with me. Of course, this led to even more meaningful conversations about life in general and the way of Chabad.
The term “Chabad” is an acronym for the Hebrew words chochma, bina, and daat. The special meaning of Chabad is represented in the combination of these three terms. “Chochma,” meaning wisdom or concept, “bina ” meaning understanding or comprehending, and “daat” meaning knowledge or concentration on the depth of the idea to its conclusion.
Chabad explains that “chochma is creative; bina is development; daat is conclusive.” I have come to LOVE the way Chabad shares so openly to include anyone who wants to learn.
Skipping ahead to a couple of months later, I was feeling Shabbat come alive on a Friday afternoon as I strolled along the seaport water views in lower Manhattan. I was greeted by three Orthodox Jewish girls offering candles. They approached me and my two friends and asked “Are any of you Jewish?” With my enthusiastic YES, they offered us candles to light later on to welcome Shabbat.
As the girls and I talked, I shared photos with them of the time I spent in Crown Heights a year earlier. What a pleasant surprise when they told me that they happened to be friends with the gals I met the previous year — and I got an update that the two Crown Heights ladies had gotten married. Such a small world!
Soon I reconnected via text with Shayna from Crown Heights, which led to her inviting me and a friend to spend a Shabbat dinner at her sister's home and to meet her new husband. We were honored to have this open invitation into a traditional Shabbat meal with an old-new friend. What an evening it turned out to be – filled with more answers for my friend and my many questions about what it means to live a Torah-observant life.
While I don’t see myself practicing Judaism in the same exact fashion as all of my new friends, these experiences in the way of Chabad continue to provide me with sincere inspiration to get more in touch with the spiritual part of me as a Jewish woman. These traditions and customs that I engage in with our community always have the effect of strengthening my Jewish identity. That makes me happy.
Shabbat Shalom!
LAURIE SHELTON is a veteran adoption specialist and an avid international travel writer who has corresponded from more than 30 countries.
